There is Sunshine in My Soul

I am feeling especially calm and happy today. The sad part is that I can't remember the last time I felt like this... it's been too long. The trials really started when a good friend was lost in January. Since then, more and more has been thrown at me. I have fallen to my knees so many times just begging Heavenly Father to help me. Many nights I would just cry myself to sleep and listen to hymns while I tried to forget my troubles. In the middle of every trial I would find myself asking "why me?". I think that only made it harder to deal with to be honest. During an especially difficult trial I had no motivation to get up in the morning. Everything reminded me of the hurt I was feeling and I felt like I needed to just run away from it all. Of course, that would have been one of the most foolish ways to deal with it, but it seemed appealing at the time. It is still hard to deal with things that remind me of this trial, but I have to keep reminding myself to just accept it. I have to accept what I cannot change and just focus on what I can. I still have those days that just suck! But it's days like today that keep me on my feet.

I have waited for such a long time to feel this peace again. You have no idea! But today, yes, today, FINALLY, I feel sunshine again. My heart is full of gratitude and joy for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't know where I would be without the Church. When I was going through a specific trial I remember writing in my journal, "I can't see the sunshine..." and left it at that. A while later I wrote, "starting to see the sun again..." when I was starting to gain strength to overcome that hard time. And today I can happily write that I have found the sunshine again!

It has felt like forever and I am glad it's here! 

There is Sunshine in My Soul Today is one of my favorite hymns and it certainly illustrates my feelings today.